tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1922119022944994816.post2448607088619076727..comments2023-06-28T07:04:24.550-04:00Comments on Considering Lilies: Modesty- the new four letter wordAmy Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13919917268741058474noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1922119022944994816.post-1403796499676625012013-09-04T21:53:22.213-04:002013-09-04T21:53:22.213-04:00Muah. Love you more. Most. xoMuah. Love you more. Most. xoAmy Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13919917268741058474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1922119022944994816.post-22018768614954644912013-09-04T20:39:47.596-04:002013-09-04T20:39:47.596-04:00Amy, just stopping in here now. I agree 100% with ...Amy, just stopping in here now. I agree 100% with everything you said here and I don't believe that contradicts the comments I made earlier regarding the post, or my feelings about it. I love you more than life, and as we discussed, aim to "disagree well", and it is only in that spirit that I add my thoughts to the pot here. <br /><br />In case I wasn't clear, I also see absolutely nothing wrong, or sexually charged or immodest about posting photos of boys with their family at the beach (I would post photos like that of my own kids, but not with the same message attached to them) and I agree that these sorts of photos are totally not the same thing as girls seeking sexual attention. What I do see a problem with, though, is that no thought whatsoever was given (as she admitted in the comments) to the fact that different people have different levels of modesty and values regarding clothing, etc. and she was choosing her own standard of modesty to demand of a general audience of people (not anyone specific, just all teenage girls) without any regard to the male role in all of it, or without regard to how those photos would appear or challenge those seeing them (which is precisely what she was asking the girls she addressed to do--be considerate of the moral standards of those coming across the photos). To me it is a matter of taking the speck out of our own eye before reprimanding others. <br /><br />I DO believe there is a big difference between the private message you sent to the girl in your youth group--a specific person who you know and love and showed appropriate concern for as an adult in her life. The way they chose to react to your concern was sad but you did what we are called to do as Christian women and I don't for a minute think you were wrong for doing it. I have a hard time, though, with the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do message that I (and many others, as the comments indicate) clearly took away from the blog post that found so many others offended by the very thing she was speaking against--photos of people that caused the person looking at them to be uncomfortable. I didn't have a problem whatsoever with the photos of the boys until I got to the end of the post and realized that it was never once mentioned in her words on her post (I realize you addressed it thoroughly here and I agree with you) what role the "looker" has here. I believe both the forest AND the trees are relevant in this. I only think it worthy to speak up because I have read posts just like this hundreds of times, I have seen thousands of Facebook photos of girls being overtly sexual and the criticism (rightly) they receive for it, but never once....ever, ever, ever have I come across someone writing the same mass message to the general population of boys who are taking photos of themselves in the mirror, of their six-packs, their outfits, their sagging shorts which practically show all with the same amount of concern everyone has about the girls doing so. It is absolutely a heart problem, but girls aren't the only ones with hearts in need of guidance is all I'm saying. It is somehow morally acceptable for us to encourage this behavior with men and not with women. I am totally guilty of adding to it, I'm sure (Ryan Gosling 'hello girl' memes come to mind, for example) but feel sick the more I realize how as a culture the message out there is that it's cute and masculine when men do it (Tim Tebow, anyone?) and reprehensible when girls do it. Again, I agree 100% with what you are saying and I do believe the message the woman wrote was from a good place but I think it's dangerous to continue to ignore the male role in all this, which is, I think, why the post received so much backlash. <br /><br />Love you tons, and I always appreciate the food for thought you give me. If nothing else, this will cause me to prayerfully consider as my daughter gets into her teen years how (and whether) there are differences between the standards I hold for her and those I hold for my sons in this area. <3 Cara Sextonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02597396513424389268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1922119022944994816.post-16999226151780855622013-09-04T17:08:29.910-04:002013-09-04T17:08:29.910-04:00Excellent! xoxExcellent! xoxPatriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10435071269417046903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1922119022944994816.post-69010828370460808672013-09-04T16:39:17.530-04:002013-09-04T16:39:17.530-04:00Spot. On!!! Spot. On!!! Beth Covalthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09080934237142979144noreply@blogger.com