This and that

Well, we are all home and doing okay. Trever's surgery was overall a success, although we did have a few minor issues with hospital protocol and overzealous doctors and nursing staff. I don't think I have the energy to go into all that right now though. I am sick of retelling our drama. But I will say this: With very few exceptions, I feel very misunderstood by most of our (very well meaning) family and friends.

To clarify, I am not against modern medicine. Nor do I feel I am paranoid. But sometimes, I strongly disagree with the recommendations of the medical staff, and feel that ultimately, the right to accept or reject treatment lies with the patient. (Stepping down from soapbox.)

Anyway, Trever is pretty tuckered out. And the medication he is on gives him some nausea and slight headaches. This makes him more sensitive to sound, and, well, living with seven small children makes that a bit tough. I am a little stressed trying to keep everyone quiet. I think Andrew (our 11 year old) is a little stressed too. He tries so hard to help, and gets every bit as frustrated with his siblings as I do when they aren't compliant. And this, in turn, makes me feel guilty. Like maybe an 11 year old ought not to be worried about so many things...

But such is life. And really, overall, I can't complain.

Oh yeah, and I FINALLY got the first book in the order I placed on my birthday. I have been waiting (not so patiently either, I might add) for close to a week. Sometimes, I really get frustrated by the fact that there are not a whole lot of good book shops around here. But then again, if there were, I might not have grocery money, so it is just as well. Crazy as it sounds, I have MUCH more self-control when it comes to ordering things than I do when I am THERE and can have it NOW. Maybe it makes me think about whether it is really worth the money, the wait, etc. verses the THRILL of having it right now. Not sure.

And this is totally off subject, but I have been having a lot of pain with my sciatica lately. I would call it a dull ache, but sometimes it really does sting. Sitting is the worst, but if I am up too much, I start having contractions and swelling. It feels good to walk, but again, I can only do that so much... I plan to talk to the midwife about it when I see her on Monday. Not sure there is a whole lot they can do about it until little Owen makes his appearance. Trever has suggested going to the chiropractor... we'll see. I would do it if I knew it would work, but it IS expensive. (Although Trever told me I am worth it and he doesn't care about the expense, which scored him lots of points.)

I really don't mean to complain, because honestly, I am so very happy about this baby and all the little discomforts that I endure are completely and totally worth it. Every day, I feel this precious baby move inside me and I smile. And I thank God for him. I am looking forward to the day I can see him face to face, and yet, for the first time, I don't feel anxious about it. That is such a blessing in and of itself.

Usually, by the point, I am just in survival mode, hanging on and hoping the time goes by soon and it will be over. I am uncomfortable and tired and want to meet my baby. And that is the interesting part. None of the outward circumstances are all that different. I am still tired. I can't see my toes unless I lean waaaay over. Shaving is really a challenge. I get stiff and achy. And, of course, I want to feast my eyes on my sweet baby boy. But at the same time, I feel content. At peace. Joyful. I want to relish every moment along the way, not just dread it and feel desperate for it to be over. Not only is my baby a gift, but my pregnancy is a gift as well.

I am looking forward to the Lord deciding the perfect time for Owen to be born. I am determined not to interfere in any way, shape or form, unless absolutely medically necessary. (And I doubt that will be needful.) So until then, I am resting in Him. It's a good place to be. :)