Friday, July 23, 2010

Soul Encourager

Thinking long about making my family thirstier for Christ, being salt and light, making others crave the Living Water. I need to drink deep myself.

I lay awake late into the night, mind and heart aching and straining to find answers, help, peace, both for myself and for others. Sometimes I find myself fighting a downward spiral into despair...

When will I ever change? How can I live life without wasting the precious moments, days, years I am given?

I see oldest son, now thirteen, whose shoes are bigger than mine and who is almost as tall. How long will he sleep under my roof, eat my meals, hear my words?

I see littlest son, now close to two years old. Wasn't it only yesterday I writhed in pain as he came forth into autumn coolness? I blinked, and now it is hot summer and he is walking and talking and smiling and getting his signature Smith curls. And what a joy he is to our family....

I get so caught up in the tyranny of the urgent. I fail to see the picture, big and long and stretched out to eternity. These souls, mine and theirs, must find strength to reach out, grasping hold of the One who holds us in His hands.

I get weary of reaching. I fall into bed bone tired and the achiness is deeper than skin. The heart throbs for God, the soul cries for the peace that passes understanding.

The psalmist speaks to his own soul- why so downcast? Hope in God. And I follow his example and become my own soul-encourager. Why so downcast, oh my soul?? Put your hope in God. I will be filled as I pour out. The holy paradox that is the recipe for contentment.

In the hectic, noise-filled chaos, I must learn to lift my soul to Him, and to keep a quiet heart.

Father, I lift up to you my despair.

And receive hope.

I lift up my anger.

And receive self-control.

I lift up restlessness, frustration, discouragement.

And receive peace, joy, love.

My cup, emptied of self, flows over.



{A gently edited post from last year. My hope is it finds its way to some soul who needs encouragement. Hope in God, friends. His grace is always enough.}

2 comments:

  1. Amy, thank you for sharing your heart here with us. Isn't it something how we spend our nights away with things we share only with Abba...convinced totally that when the light of day comes, so will come a new me...one who truly is salt and light in our own home...THEN reality sets in and I find myself having to ask forgiveness for a sharp word or not truly listening. Truly it is His grace that keeps us!

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  2. You speak my soul today (((Amy.)))
    These are my daily prayers.
    Sending Love...

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