Lately, I have been feeling this general sense of malaise, kind of an underlying discontent I can't really describe or explain. When the feeling is so general, it is hard to know what to do about it. Maybe I am a little depressed? I feel tired nearly all the time. I don't feel unhappy, really, just- hmmm. Blah. Listless. Unmotivated and yet unsatisfied. And wondering what this all has to do with my spiritual state and what, if anything, I should do about it..
Is there anything to be said about going through the motions even when you just don't feel like doing much of anything?
remember reading a story about an old town of people whose watchmaker
died. They no longer had anyone they could bring their watches to, to
have them repaired and serviced. So, all the watches stopped telling
proper time. Eventually, after many years, a new watchmaker came to
town, and the people were all very excited to bring their broken watches
to him. After examining the watches, however, he found he was only able
to fix the watches of the people who had continued to wind them.
when they were not keeping proper time, they had to be wound in order
to retain their usefulness, their ability to be adjusted.
this is not a perfect analogy because, Lord knows, we sometimes stop
winding and do far worse than just negligence to ourselves and yet God
can redeem any of us, from any thing.
But it has gotten me
thinking that sometimes, however imperfect, however little we *feel*,
going through the motions, attempting to read contemplatively or pray or
what have you, sometimes- it matters anyway. Maybe it helps put us in a
proper place to be adjusted, receptive, when the right time comes.
And I guess that's just where I am right now.
Just winding the broken watch.