Tuesday, August 26, 2014

August 26, 2014

Just a short post for today, mainly because I feel I *should* write and not so much because I want to.

I went to the doctor last Wednesday. It was almost surreal to hear him tell me that while {hopefully} the medication will continue to help the swelling, thickness and pain in my hands and wrists, that they would never be normal again. I have 45% mobility in my left wrist, 35% in my right. That basically completely sucks.

I shared with him how depressed I've become lately, how I've not wanted to be around people really at all, how I'm exhausted all the time and just want to sleep, how I don't want to do any of the things I love- paint, read, write...

He prescribed me Lexapro. We had a bit of a mix up with the pharmacy and it took until today (the following Tuesday) for me to actually get the meds. I took my first dose this afternoon. I'm almost afraid to get my hopes up about it, but I admit, I am hoping.

My sister texted me this afternoon to tell me that the Starbucks in Florida began making Pumpkin Spice Lattes today because she knows how much this means to me. :) I promptly texted Trever and asked him if he would be willing to run by and check when he got off work. I hate to get my hopes up about it, but I admit, I am hoping. :)

I managed to run into a psychic this weekend. She had some very interesting things to tell me, but I think I'll save that bit for tomorrow.

Trever and I have been watching Heroes reruns with the kids. Last night we stayed up almost until midnight. It reminded me of the time we started watching Lost on Netflix- and how Trever and I stayed up until 2 something in the morning because all the episodes end in cliffhangers and we got addicted. I may or may not have watched a few episodes while he was at work... This was obviously a bad move for our marriage. We were lucky to survive that. :)

I bought Hamburger Helper. We are having chili mac for dinner. This sounds fairly ordinary except for the fact that I never buy Hamburger Helper. I never really buy boxed dinners or lots of processed stuff. But I was in that aisle and got this weird nostalgic sensation thinking about all the HH I consumed as a kid and... I just threw it in the cart. I have a friend who used to stock up on it when it would go on sale at the commissary, buying dozens of boxes to fill her pantry. I secretly looked down on her from my food snob throne. Now, it's just whatever. I find myself judging a lot less these days.

You do the best you can most of the time and occasionally it's okay to let it slide and order pizza or drink a coke or consume the 35,862 preservatives, high sodium and MSG in Hamburger Helper. We will live.

I started reading the new testament in The Message last night. I got a smallish copy that fits in my purse. I don't really know why I'm reading it because I feel totally lethargic and burned out on the whole religious thing, but for whatever reason, here I am reading it.

Ella Grace just climbed up into my bed, pulled the covers up to her chin, and passed out. This isn't really a good thing since it is almost 5:30 pm, and this just means she will be awake forever tonight, but she's so sweet and cute I'm just letting her rest for a little while. I may join her for a power nap.

***This just in: I got a text from Trever telling me they did indeed have PSLs, and he got me one!! This pretty much made my whole night. It's the little things.***

Happily, (at least momentarily)


  1. Amy, I have struggled with depression too. I wish I could offer some real support but I'm sending prayers and love across the ether all the same :) we don't get pumpkin spice lattes here. I feel thoroughly deprived :)

  2. Yay for those pumpkin spiced lattes! Really!
    I have been reading The Message, too. Also, Peterson's A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. I love to focus on the Psalms of Ascent. I am so thankful that Jesus is not contained in my mental file box, that He is my Shepherd. I hope you feel as if you are safely tucked under His arm and He is stroking your curly head. He leaves the flock to come and find us when we're lost. Thankful.


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