Me, who didn't really want children and really had no desire to hold babies or earn money watching other people's children. Me who had never even once changed a diaper in my whole life.
My whole world changed the moment the second line on that home pregnancy test turned pink. I couldn't explain it, define it, understand it, but I KNEW. I was wildly in love with the tiniest little person I had never even seen yet. And the love was real, strong, and growing, just like his little body underneath my heart.
My firstborn has changed me in so many, many ways, the least of which (and the most!) being that I never knew I could love another human being so much, never knew what it could feel like to watch your heart beating in the chest of another, knowing your world no longer revolved around yourself, but another, always another. Understanding for the first time that love truly can be unconditional, fierce yet gentle, and ever, ever present.
Till I breathe my last breath, I will always, always, ALWAYS love you Andrew Braden. You are one of the greatest, most creative, amazing, exquisite gifts our Father has ever given your father and me.
And the list keeps growing, as my gratitude journal overflows with blessings:
sweet smelling, clean laundry, crisp linens.
favorite snapshots, windows of memories.
my friends gone before me- Amy Carmichael, Aiden Tozer, Bunyan... and the hope of meeting them and talking long in Heaven.
babies who insist on sitting in your lap. my lap.
a son who lets his mama sing him to sleep. hymns.
another sweet boy who hugged his mama's neck, snuggled and gave kisses goodnight. so sweet, I could feel my heart swell.
a husband who sits in our rocker with our babies- a beautiful picture.
the help Trever faithfully gives- bedtimes, mealtimes, etc. Our life, always together.
(To read more about having a gratitude journal, click the button below.)