Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Plucking Petals

Writing, for me, is a medium by which I best express my thoughts. It is with pen in hand, or typing on a keyboard, that my heart pours forth most fluently. I consider my ability to write a talent that God has given me, not to be squandered or wasted.

Imagine my dismay when, as of late, I have been literally unable, physically, to write. Holding a pen, or typing, causes my hands to be inflamed, red, painful. Some days, it is very difficult to pick up my sweet babies, to open my mail, to unscrew a jelly jar....

And some days, like today, I have some relief, and it is easier.

As I lay in my bed last night, hurting, frustrated and wishing I could write out my thoughts, my mind wandered back to something that had struck me before, in a book I had read by Jeanne Guyon. She described how she had once had a beautiful face, that she was known for her physical loveliness. Yet, she was vain, and spiritually shallow. She believed God blessed her when he allowed her to become sick with an illness that completely marred her lovely face. She described how through the loss of her physical beauty, she found true beauty in her inner walk with Jesus.

And I began to think about how this might apply to me.

I do not think that this particular symptom is going to last forever. I believe I am going to get better, and be able to use my hands freely. But I also believe God is teaching me a lesson of simple dependence on Him. When I can not write, when I can do nothing, I can go to Him. I can pray. I can still pour out my heart. I can choose to make simple sacrifices for Him, and to depend on His grace for my every need.

And I do.

Lately, I have been asking God that when I pray, that I am made truly aware that I am, in reality, in His throne room. That I am assured in my heart that He hears me. That I remember how Jesus always had compassion for all kinds of suffering. And that I know He loves me.

As I glance a random flower blowing in the hot breeze, I play the game in my mind of plucking petals...

He loves me.

He loves me.

He loves me.


  1. "Oh how He loves you and me. He gave His life what more could He give? Oh how He loves you, Oh how He loves me, Oh how He loves you and me."
    My heart is singing these words as I read your post.
    I feel the same way sometimes with my dizziness. I know He is using this in my life to make me more like His Son and for that I give thanks. I am thankful to have found you in blog world. You are such a beautiful encouragement :)
    I pray your hands are better soon.

  2. Praying you well again, as a fellow strong acquaintance with pain, I am glad you are able to turn to God and look at it like this. I always remind myself on bad days that no matter what, God has not given me my problems but he is allowing me to go through them for His Glory.

  3. Oh I love this! Everything you write ALWAYS hits exactly what I'm thinking about- except that you are ALWAYS wonderfully steps ahead to guide my path! But I do pray too that great relief will soon be yours.

  4. He does love you. Hope you're feeling better soon.


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