Spiritual Detours

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one in the world who thinks like I do.

I mean, granted, we are all a wee bit different. I know that. I just wonder sometimes HOW different I am.

Lately, I've been thinking about my tendency to want everything perfect. For instance, if I look over something I wrote and am not happy with my penmanship, I feel the urge to crumple it up and toss it.

When I write something and later find there are errors, whether in the grammar or content, I'd rather redo the whole thing, rather than leave it as it is.

I have started several journals, gone for long periods of time without writing in them, and then struggled to continue writing in them because of whatever I've already got scrawled in there. Like, somehow, NOW doesn't *go together* with THEN.

I got a healthy dose of perspective once when I read No Compromise, the biography Melody Green wrote about her husband, Keith. {I strongly recommend this book!} He kept regular, faithful journals form the time he was very young, way before he became a Christian. Some of his beliefs, in the beginning, were waaaaaaaay off. But you know, I was blessed to read some of them anyway. It showed me how far God brought him, and that he was just a normal guy, just like anyone else.

At times, he wrote about his struggles as a Christian. Sometimes he would write about his victories, the amazing things he learned form the Lord. He just wrote about where he was at the time. I guess there are moments it all doesn't seem to fit together. But it does.

Anyway, I bet you're wondering where I am going with this.

I guess I struggle with wanting to delete all the icky stuff and publish all new stuff and say "See?! *NOW* I have it all right!!"

What do you do when you realize you have been believing some lies in regard to your faith?

Do you go back and get rid of all the evidence that shows you did? Or, are you honest and admit you've made some mistakes, thanking God for showing you His Truth?

So, okay, I admit it: I've made some mistakes. I'm far from perfect. But I am so very thankful God was not content to leave me that way. Truly, all I want is to know His Truth, and walk in it.

I plan to leave the posts here on my blog, even though as I read them I have to admit I don't agree with all the things I said. I believed them when I wrote them. But now I see there was some serious confusion in my heart.

Still, this is my spiritual journey, and I feel it would be dishonest not to include my detours. I'm really just a humble pilgrim, friends.

Thank you for grace.

~amy danielle