"Never put a screwdriver into any ones body parts."
That is the brilliant parenting advice I gave to my nine year old this morning.
This was followed up by looking at my daughter and passing on this pearl of wisdom: "Don't put beads into any of your body parts either."
What a morning.
I am fairly certain no one has ever said that life with nine children was dull. Far from it, these imaginative little ones keep me on my toes. Most of the time, it is joy. But there are the occasional mornings marked with more than a little exasperation on my part.
I wanted to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head by 10 a.m.
Liberty, who was supposed to be cleaning her room, apparently decided that a bead from her broken necklace looked just the right size to fit in her ear. While it did fit rather snugly, her little experiment turned into panic when she discovered she could not retrieve said bead. It was stuck.
It seems the more she tried to get it out, the further down it went. At this point, you would think she would have come to me for help. Oh, no. Enter her older brother. He would be her bead-extracting savior. His instrument of choice? A small screwdriver.
Any mother knows when things are quiet just a bit too long, it is best to see what her children are up to. You know, in case one of them is inserting a screwdriver into another ones ear.
Thankfully, I was able to get the bead out, because there was a moment there where I envisioned myself in the emergency room, explaining the whole mess. All the beads have been gathered up and deposited into the trash can, and screwdriver safety laws have been reviewed.
Still, I can't help but wonder what the average person would think if they happened to walk past an open window of my house and heard me lecturing my children.
Save me, Jesus.
And now I think I am going to take a nap.
You never know what the rest of the day may hold.