Thursday, January 8, 2015


This morning I slept in late. I didn't sleep well, mainly because it is so cold here and it makes my joints flare and ache. Dylan (my 12 year old) eventually made me a cup of coffee to coax me out of hibernation. He delivered a steaming mug to my nightstand and then quietly walked out, allowing me to wake up slowly. I can always tell when my wrists are swollen without looking when I pick up a mug of coffee. If it makes me wince to lift it, if a simple coffee cup feels impossibly heavy, I know.

Moving around a bit helps, but I wear out my energy quickly.

My plans for the day include staying as warm as possible, getting some reading done, and then forcing myself into a hot shower so I can get ready to meet friends tonight. We won't be out, we are meeting at their house, so I am really just transferring from one warm place to another, and I'm pretty sure I can do that, even if I have to leave a little early. The good thing about close friends is that they understand your limitations. Some of my closest friends and family members know the way to my heart is through thick socks.

Every new year, I ponder what to do about my Bible reading. I have done the read-your-bible-in-one-year plans before. I have followed schedules that have you reading through the Old and New Testaments simultaneously. I have a Bible written in chronological order. But this year, I considered how I have always seemed so much more concerned about quantity than quality. I could check off the little box that says read your Bible, but I didn't necessarily retain much of what I'd read, and I'm sure many days I read in a hurried way, just wanting to cross an item off of my to-do list rather than intentionally slowing down to connect with God in any kind of meaningful way.

So this year, I bought a Lectio Divina journal.

My hope is that, each day I will grow in my ability to be still on the inside and hear the gentle whisper of God.

I purchased a phonics curriculum yesterday for my tinies, and I don't mind confessing that I am rather dreading it. I adore being with my children but I've never much liked teaching them to read. It sounds terrible, but there it is. Hopefully, within a few short weeks, they'll be up and running and we can progress to library trips for arm loads of fun things to read. I've always liked that part. It does pay off, of course. I love once they get to the point where they love reading and I have to coax their noses out of books to get them to do anything. Sometimes, when I am very tired, I will have one of them read me a chapter of the Bible, out loud. It is lovely to drift off to the sound of your children reading scripture.

I've noticed that being indoors has caused me to lose whatever bit of tan I may have developed over the summer and fall; I put my foundation on the other day and noticed it made me look a bit orangey. Thankfully I had a fairer one stashed away, one I had bought first and found too white for my summer skin. It works quite well now. I dare not leave my house without putting on a dab of makeup; the circles under my eyes make me looked overtired and ill. I'd rather not draw attention to myself. In this case, it is in the application of cosmetics that I practice the best form of modesty. I remember hearing once that the word cosmetic came from a root word meaning to create order out of chaos. I quite agree with that definition.

Two of my children, Liberty and Dylan, have showed an interest in painting over the last year and have received some canvases, paints and brushes as Christmas gifts. I feel a bit bad when they ask me if they can paint and I find myself putting them off because I know I will need to supervise to minimize mess and facilitate clean up. Still, when I am feeling up to the task, I have seen them produce some lovely things. One of my favorites was this slinky cat, that Dylan named Klaus.

I have it up on my wall in my bedroom. He made a twin for a friend, with a purple background at her request, a female, and named her Clarice. He actually made her opposite Klaus, so their tails would form a heart, but I refuse to give mine up.

A friend of mine had a goal of reading 100 books during the last year, and she did it. I sort of doubt I'll read that many, but I do have a decent stack I'd like to get read. I even joined a tiny book club with a couple friends. I decided I'd much rather have my children see my behind a book than a screen, so I am limiting my time online.

Hot pastrami sandwiches and chips for dinner. For now, a pot of tea, thick socks and loads of blankets.

I'll get some of that reading done yet.


1 comment:

  1. You are amazing. You accomplish more in one day of pain and difficulty than I do sitting here stuck to the keyboard and watching life drift away around me! I too must purchase a lectio divino...


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