Yesterday was the worst day I've had in quite a long time. The past couple of weeks have been hard in general because the cold weather has been so intense, but yesterday I felt like my whole body ached. My joints felt like fire and I was miserable, sad and hopeless.
I wrote as much on my Facebook page. And then, as I was scrolling down, I noticed a friend's post. She was promoting a new book by Margaret Feinberg, one about joy. I read that she (Feinberg) discovered she had cancer while she was writing this book, and the decision to choose joy in real life became a defiant one. It seemed serendipitous, me finding this, because last year I chose the word "defiant" to shape my year, and yet it fell flat for me. It seemed one half of a reality I could not put words to.
I've been tinkering with the word "joy" for 2015. But I think what I am meant to do is combine them- defiant joy.
It's not one word but the concept is singular.
I ordered the book.
I am hoping this will be the year of defiant joy.